So there are a few new things going on with me these days…
First off I am growing to love and enjoy being a dad. It is so interesting how very different and yet very much the same I feel. That was a convoluted statement–let me explain. I do feel a certain sense of concern and urgency about things that I didn’t before, but that had already started before Emmeline got here. I feel a deeper devotion to Katie. Not that I wasn’t devoted before, but having a baby together certainly makes you appreciate your spouse more. But mostly I am surprised at how many people told me that being a parent would change my life. I am sure that 10 years down the road I will look back and see how much I have changed, but there is no sudden transformation for me. I haven’t suddenly become someone else, I am myself in a new role. I begin to wonder if that is why so many men can’t handle being dads, because they think that their new role somehow determines who they are and it’s not someone they want to be. For me, knowing who I am determines how I deal with my new role.
One of the things I have always loved about my Dad was that he is the same man wherever he goes. When my Dad was at home he had the same standards, interests, beliefs, and desires as when he was at work, at church, and anywhere. Every account I have ever recieved from others of my Dad I know it is him because it sounds exactly like the man I know. Certainly being a dad changed my Dad, as it doubtless does all good parents, but it didn’t seem to be a role he put on and took off daily. Maybe that is why being a godly man is so much harder, because integrity requires men to wear every hat they have at once. I see myself not as a man, a husband, and a father, an employee, a church member, and a blogger, but rather simply as myself, one to whom God has given many callings. All of these callings require 100% of my effort because God intended each one of us to be one person, not many partial people.
Along with my new fatherhood I am looking for a job. My 10 month employment status, while wonderful from August to May, is not good in June and July. I am looking forward to finding a job that will actually pay me like I have a college degree and pay me year-round while also allowing me to do something I truly enjoy and am passionate about. Prayers are much appreciated and leads are prayed for.
When not consumed by these two, I am currently creating a tabletop wargame for the American Civil War using 20mm/1:72 scale miniatures. The rule book is in the playtesting phase and will be released for online ordering sometime in the next few months. The expected price will be somewhere around $7 and will include all of the rules and have free updates via this blog. If you or anyonw you know is interested I accept pay pal.
Lastly I am also doing some painting and modeling for my younger brother Nathan who is getting into 20mm WWII miniature gaming. I have a picture below of the first squad, a British command squad, made to be play with Battlefield Evolution: World at War.